| teacher | translator | author |
|
by Joel M. Hoffman
There are strange things done in the August sun
by the folks who frequent CAJE
Where it is said that Jewish ed-
-ucation's all the rage
'Cause here we see how intensively
we can learn and teach and pray
And catch up with friends who with us attend
this curious quinquidial fray.
"Quinquidial," I say, though it's a word that may be hard for some to construe.
It's a brand new way to say "five days." I invented it just for you.
A more accurate way to describe your stay is one that might make you laugh.
"Quatrodimidial"'s a word that not often heard. It means "four days and a half."
But I've made a mistake, for I shouldn't take up your time this evening with this.
Though I have to say the number of days is just about four and two fifths.
No. My poem for you is meant as a review of what it is you've done
And also a clue of what's in store for you: a taste of what's to come.
By plane and by car, from near and from far on Sunday you all arrived.
For the people that new know a soul or two 'twas a time for friendships revived.
And those that did not quickly joined our lot, of those who now agree
That CAJE is the place where every face is one you want to see.
But I may have mis-led you when I just said that Sunday was day number one.
'Cause in point of fact, it was Friday that began our week of fun.
We got a head start with the pre-conference part of CAJE 33. And then
We welcomed Shabbat and the rest that it brought, from Bo'i Kalah to amen.
But 80 percent of you all spent Shabbat at home, not here,
And only arrived on Sunday though I've been trying to make it clear
That my job right now is to tell you how you've spent your time in VT
And also to say in my rhyming way how the conference seems to me.
But even before I open that door, I think it's only fair
That I publicly thank Mr. David Frank, a man who has the rare
And precious trait of keeping straight the values and the goals
That matter most. And so our host helps us all feel whole.
His calming ways help all of us stay full of joy and cheer.
He's a long time friend and in the end, he's the reason that I'm here.
So thank you D (``D'' for ``David,'' you see) for all you've done for me.
And Iris K. and Danny K. and Jeff and Zachary P.
Mary Lou, Yoram S, Allan H., Rabbi S. --- all now friends of mine ---
Eddie F., Rabbi Z., Amihai, Ellen D. It never ends (thought it rhymes).
The list is vast, and unsurpassed are the skills that they all bring.
They paint. They teach. They read ivrit. They act and dance and sing.
Yes, Joshua B. and Michael E., Ellen, Hadar and Ruth,
And Peter E. and Robin E., and more, to tell the truth:
Macy H., Manny G., Alan M., Craig T., Mara and Dr. Steven C.
And a guy I love, whom I most fond of: Larry H., abba sheli.
Not to be missed are two more in the list, two wonderful Jewish souls:
Abigail E. and Melanie B. They both played important roles.
This is year three of Abby and me working together in fun.
And what a treat it's been to meet her and work to get things done.
And then there's Mel. And let me tell you of my profound glee
To have such a friend and a partner to tend to the details along with me.
And here's the thing. I was wise to bring Mel along because
Truth be told I really don't know what it is that a chair does!
Now 2 years ago the conference you know was held in Durham, NC,
And many of us remember the fuss when the temperature hit 93.
It was humid and hot so last year we thought we'd find a cooler place to dwell.
But Washington U? What did we do?? St. Louis was hot as hell---
---o Vermont. We said we want a state with a moderate clime
With sunshine by day that later gives way to the brisk refreshing kind
Of evening that we finally got to see at CAJE this year of '08.
The weather was nice and included in the price was a lovely little lake.
The only thing is, the airline biz is vexed by storms and rain.
And wouldn't you know, four days ago, the thunder boomers came.
And that is why while we had blue skies the flights that were bound for here
Were postponed at first and then canceled or worse. It was a mess, I fear.
But despite the fuss most of us were able to make our way
Up to VT where it was that we would begin to work and play.
One conference theme was "going green." And surely the time is here
That as Jews we take the lead and make eco-waste disappear.
And then for two days we changed our ways and asked the question "what if?"
We concocted a scheme to put a team in a bowl as though they were fish.
Not real fish, you know, but experts who told us what the future holds.
They said our shuls should be retooled to give schools more central roles.
We talked of God and other odd and sundry Jewish things,
Like whether we can always be spiritual human beings.
And what it means when it sometimes seems that are numbers dwindle down
And how it is that the ed-school biz can make smiles out of frowns.
Yes, teachers taught and thinkers thought and speakers spoke their mind.
And thrice each day we made our way toward delightful food and dined.
And all of this educational bliss, and a little conflict, too,
Was tailor-made and then arrayed 'cross campus just for you.
I'd like to add that I'm personally glad that the chairs were Mel and I.
Er, "Mel and me," but it's hard, you see, to rhyme and still speak properlye.
Egad! Oh no! My poem's starting to go. It seems I'm starting to babble.
And now this line in order to rhyme needs an accent on the wrong syLABble.
Though I've not yet begun to recount the fun or fill in each detail,
Already this rhyme is on its decline with words and rhymes that fail.
So while I could I suppose continue in prose until the hour is late
I'll close with one thought and then I'll stop. There's a story I'd like to relate.
Now the story's told of Marvin Gold, who woke up one Sunday to snow
And ``Mommy,'' he said as he lay in bed. ``Just please don't make me go
To temple today. I'd like to stay at home. I hate Hebrew School.''
She shook her head and ``Marv,'' she said. ``I know you know the rule.
``Besides, my son, it might be fun.'' But Marvin said, ``Oh no!
The kids are cruel at Hebrew school. Just please don't don't make me go!
They hate me there. It isn't fair. Don't make me go to school.''
She shook her head and ``Marv,'' she said. ``I know you know the rule.''
``At Hebrew school the teachers who'll see me hate me too.
It isn't fair. They hate me there. I don't know what to do.''
She shook her head and ``Marv,'' she said. ``I know you know the rule.
Twice each week, in snow or heat, you go to Hebrew school.''
``But Mom,'' he cried, ``you know I've tried. The teachers and the kids
All hate me there. It isn't fair. If you knew what they did---''
``Now,'' she said and shook her head, ``I know you know the rule.
Marv, my son, you're fifty-one! You're the principal. Go to school!''
Now it's clear I hope that I tell this joke as we prepare to leave
To spur you on to a brighter dawn, to urge you to conceive
Of what someday the students'll say, of what we'll someday hear.
The time draws nigh to say good-bye, but I'll see you all next year.
There are strange things done in the August sun
by the folks who frequent CAJE
Where it is said that Jewish ed-
-ucation's all the rage
'Cause here we see how intensively
we can learn and teach and pray
And catch up with friends who with us attend
this curious quinquidial fray.
| (C) 2008 by Joel M. Hoffman |